Does anyone have any special phrases they like to use in their house? Phrases that everyone in the house has a deep understanding of? Like, “Oh shit, Mom just said……” I have a couple of special little phrases I like to use in our household. One of my biggest ones is “Finish the Job” (usually said while clapping the syllables out with my hands – for effect obviously lol).

Let me give you an example of how I use it. When I ask the kids to clean up their mess in the basement (their play area), I typically set a timer. When said timer goes off, they claim the job is done. I go inspect the task that was assigned only to find that apparently I have some supernatural power and am the only one who can see any discrepancies. It’s like “Dude, why is there there garbage in the toy bin?” Or “Girl! Is that where your dirty socks go?!” Speaking of socks, on more than one occasion I’ve found 13 socks in our basement! 13! Are you freaking kidding me? How hard is it to bring them upstairs with you? Anyone else’s kids hate socks for some weird ass reason? Better yet, just take them off upstairs and put them immediately in the hamper or laundry room. Finish the damn job! Don’t do it half-assed. Get it done. See it through – start to finish. 

I say the same thing to my husband when he takes out the trash but refuses or “forgets” to put a new garbage bag in. I tend to find this out the hard way, which is when I watch the trash leave my hands and fall towards the bagless trash can. Every time! Part of taking the trash out is indeed replacing the bag, so it’s ready to go. Argue with me that this is two separate jobs and you will lose, I promise you. Just. Finish. The. Job.

By now my kids (and husband) should know that I have expectations. I honestly wouldn’t even say they’re high expectations – and they’re most certainly not low either. They’re just expectations. When I ask you to do something, I expect you to do it, just as they would expect the same from me. On the flip side, when I ask you not to do something, I also expect you not to do it. I try to be clear and concise when laying out these expectations. One of my “qualities” is probably how vocal I am. Mainly because I don’t want them to get anything twisted, or be able to find any loopholes and argue any technicalities. You know, all the same shit we use to do with our parents back in the day. I know it’s hard for them to understand that, I too was a kid once. Oddly enough. I’ve lived it, said it, done it. Wise beyond my years, if I may. One day they will learn that I’m always at least 2 steps ahead of them, and I typically only ask them questions I already know the answers to. Sorry, not sorry.

I’ve been thinking about this for the last several months during the annoyance of when the kids question on WHY they have to clean up a mess. After I explain, their rebuttal is usually “well I didn’t make the mess.” Welcome to my fucking world little boy/girl! All I do all day long (when I’m home) is clean up messes that aren’t mine. Not sure how that’s fair. I know what is going to happen the next time my mental capacity is extremely fragile. Not proud to say, but I’ve already planned it out. I will have a breakdown, yell (or maybe switch it up and act completely calm) and then likely go into each of their rooms, have them watch me trash it, then make them clean it up. Theoretically this would be a good learning exercise. It’ll give them a sense of how I feel when I watch them make a mess but I’m expected to clean it up. Perhaps it will deter some future messes. Anddddd they’ll absolutely remember me losing my shit and recognize the warning signs so they can make better choices in hopes of avoiding another one. Thoughts?  

The weekly segments will likely start next week, as I didn’t have much ammo this week. My schedule was quite busy and I surprisingly didn’t get much time with them. Don’t worry I still got the opportunity to yell about socks though. With me being off all this coming week I’m sure I’ll have more than enough shit to bitch about. Hope you’re looking forward to it! 

Here’s your reminder to make sure everyone is pulling their weight around your house and Finishing the Job! It shouldn’t all fall on you, Mama!