Things I lost my shit over this week….

Sorry I’ve been a little MIA, we added a new furry member (Darla) to our family on Monday. Needless to say I’m a little tired. However, she’s a sweet pup with some potent toots, just what our family needed haha! Also, oddly enough, I’m much more patient with her than I am with anyone else in the family. Oops.

Alright, let’s discuss some things I’ve lost my shit over this week, actually today if I’m being honest. I took this week off from work knowing we were getting the new puppy and knowing there would be a lot of sleepless nights; plus the whole you’ll “lose it if you don’t use it” kind of thing. So I had days to burn. I have been fairly productive despite my insomnia and despite going outside saying “go potty” 8092783 times. Today I decided to keep that train going, especially knowing my time off is coming to an end and I will not want to do any sort of laundry come closer to Monday. Does anyone even like doing laundry? If you do, I’m sorry, but that gives major serial killer vibes. I’ll have you know that most of this commentary I literally spoke to my phone during the hour long process we are about to endure together. 

Leading me to my “what I lost my shit over this week” segment. Ughhhh. Alright. Let me set the scene. The laundry basket in my closet is overflowing, so I bring that to the laundry room. Next I go to the kid’s bathroom, gather the basket from there. After that, each kid’s room. I bring everything to the laundry room. Now I start my sorting party. I never used to sort, but since we have an abundance of darks (aka all black clothing…it’s a vibe – dead like my soul) it’s necessary. When I sort, I like to turn any clothes right side out so it makes it easier to put away. I just feel I can work more efficiently that way.

Ok so back to the laundry room. It’s small, needs some projects (I have some ideas but all in due time), just the washer, dryer, utility sink and a cheap ass cube storage shelf. I start sorting the baskets one by one. Low and behold, my first piece of clothing to turn right side out. No big deal, to be expected. I place it in the colors pile. Next piece. Jeans. Inside out. Oh look, underwear still stuck in each pant leg. Okkkkkkk that’s cool. I guess we were just in a hurry to get a shower on school night. Separated; right side out; check! Next piece. The same fucking thing, different kid. Repeat process. Next piece. Am I getting punked?! I went from 0-100 reallllllll quick. Now I’m talking out loud to myself, cursing everyone. For some reason there’s nothing that fucks me off more, I don’t know why. I know, it’s a very minor issue, but to me its much bigger than that (possibly illogically but I don’t care, I’ll own it until they do their own damn laundry).

Why??? Why does every single shred of children’s clothing need to be inside out? Why do the underwear still need to be attached to the god-for-saking pants? Why do they both have to be inside out? As I said before it literally takes me an hour to do this whole process. Imagine if everyone took them off the proper way….what would I do with all my extra time? Then I get to the adult clothing. Are you kidding me? My husband can’t take clothes off the right way either, that must be where they get it from. Lord give me the strength.

Honestly, I didn’t know that this was a trigger for me until I had kids that were old enough to remove their own clothing. Prior to, I wouldn’t say I enjoyed laundry, but I certainly didn’t loathe it the way I do now that everything is quadrupled.   

I had to do teach my husband how to do laundry when we first got together. He was very blessed with women that would do it for him. (Disclaimer: not that I wouldn’t do it for him, but he would run out of clothes before I would – which is a him problem.) I will certainly give credit where credit is due in stating that he does still do laundry. However, his idea of doing laundry is simply putting it in the washer and then dryer. Occasionally it’ll make its way to the laundry basket, only to sit there for DAYS! When I say days, I’m not exaggerating. It will sit there until either I make enough jabs that he didn’t “finish the job” or until I’m finally over seeing it sit in our bedroom corner. So when it sits in the basket, it gets wrinkly. I hate wrinkly clothes. I know I’m no epitome of fashion, but I can still look decent in a sweatshirt, unless it’s wrinkly. 

I will be the first to admit that I don’t iron unless absolutely, hands down, no way out of it, life or death situation. Then I’ll iron. It’s not that I don’t know how, I just don’t like to. Very different things. Not to mention, why would I iron, when I need to get everyone else ready, myself included? Seems like a work smart, not hard kind of situation – back in the dryer you go! But it could have all been avoided if they were put away promptly.

So the point of the story, is I motherfuck everyone while I do laundry, then put the clothes away as soon as the dryer is done. I don’t start laundry unless I can “finish the job” and see it to the end. And everyone else in this house would be lost without me. Speaking of, the dryer just let me know it was done. 

Next time on things I lost my shit over…Stupid fucking questions.